Well not even a week into this and I reasly am missing a day! Shit happens. Nothing eventful happened, so its not like you missed out. I spoke with Mason last night while he was drinkin over at Swartz's house. I am just pushing him farther away. I am so scared right now of everything. I try to call him all the time but since he never bought that phone like he was supposed to last week. I miss my Mason so much. Its like we arent even together anymore. I dont hardly ever see him. One of his long lived reasons to fire back at me is " well Heather, I lived with you until you threw me out" . Why does it always have to be one extreme to the other?? Its either we are together all day everyday, or just no fuckin at all. I dont remember the last time we kissed each other, like a good kiss. I love him so much. But I dont know anyone else who can get under mu skiin the way he does. I dont understand the way he thinks. Its so fucked up sometimes. Dont get me wrong I am a crazy bitch. I cry and yell and then sometimes I even hyperventilate.I just want him to make it better somehow. Just start doing everything he has said that he would do in to the past. I am really trying to make some huge fucking changes. Like pretty much everything and I would just like something to remain the same. Like us, what we used to be. We were best freinds. I miss that the most. He doesnt think about me the same. I am not the same person to him anymore. I just want him to love me and want me like he used to love and want me.
Anyways.... I gotta call my lawyer soon. I am supposed to do that and then I told Mason I would come over last night around noon today, whether or not he remembers I dont know.
Until later today.. Peace
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